Be Gentle

I suck at asking for space.

This is something that came up during the show on Wednesday with Shazmeen Bank in the studio. And that’s how I’ve behaved most of my life with many. Where, instead of trying to talk it out and making up, I just cut off and move on.

After doing Landmark Forum this year, it made me realize how important those friendships actually are to me, and perhaps that’s why I get so angry. Though, that’s me bottling up so much shit for so long and not learning how to talk about my true feelings, or even asking for time to think on my own, without being interrupted.

Yet I interrupt so much. Even got yelled at… “IT’S RUDE!!!”.

Entitled Little Princess (insert Angel emoji).

It may come off as egotistic to many, but there’s a difference between knowing your worth and being entitled.

I’m a social introvert. Around the right people, I am the extrovert that everyone gets embarrassed to be associated with, and the introvert in me just wants to be alone. In my room or in nature, with all devices turned off. Just to hang out with myself and recharge, to give me the strength to be able to function as a human being.

This comes from always being around people. I go to work, there’s people. I go home, there’s family. And sometimes, I just want an hour to myself to just quiet my mind. Or sometimes an entire weekend.

I’m learning to be gentle. In order for that to happen, I have to go inward and shut off my outer world.