Accessibility, availability, technology and all is creating less of a human connection and more opportunities to be as free as possible.
I mean, remember when you had a land line at home, and you’d have to ring that girls house, only for her mum/dad/bro/sis to answer and you’d ask to speak to her… and they’d yell “it’s so-and-so on the phone” and you’d ask for privacy or speak softly into the mouth piece so no one could hear your conversation. Now you just pick up the phone and call them directly and walk away for privacy.
Like the process to connection is so much easier and that still blows my mind.
But because we’re so accessible, we’ve become even easier to dispose. I mean we’re like 8 billion people in the world. When someone says “there are more fish in the sea”, it’s true. And I’m not talking about relationships, I’m talking about friendships.
I’m born and raised in Nairobi. Studied here and work here. Everyone that I know whom I went to school with either moved away, are now married and have kids or we just drifted apart. Leaving me with a handful of local friends and a bunch of expats.
Nairobi right now is a hotspot – melting pot. Everyone wants to come here to make a difference and/or to make some money. It’s the land of opportunity and people are chewing on it.
The expat community is on high rotation. Every 3 months you see fresh meat. And I seem to have caught myself in this mad cycle.
Being a Group Consul for InterNations Nairobi, working with Kenya Nights, having a media background and my agency, allows me to meet people from all walks of life. And the places I like to hang out is where all the expats like to hang out too. So here I am, seeing new faces every other month and saying farewell to friendships that were created in a short span of time. So off they go and I move on to the next new person in town.
It’s a vicious cycle.
There are a rare few that I have managed to stay connected with – thanks to technology – irrespective of time and distance and those are some solid friendships. But it’s not the same. I cannot call and say let’s go for coffee. Let’s go out. Let’s do this or that.
Even though we’re so accessible, there’s a gap, a void. And you think you’d be able to fill it with new people constantly coming into your life but it gets tiring and frustrating – starting all over again.
It’s a constant reminder though, that everything is temporary, and everyone is disposable and what you truly need to learn to do is live in the now and not worry about the tomorrow. Because now is all you’ve got.