I have so many friends who live outside of Nairobi and whenever they visit home again, it always feels like we’re starting from where we left off. Arfan’s like an older brother. We’ve been great friends for over 10 years now and our connection is amazing. We don’t chat on a regular basis when he’s in Perth, but there’s the occasional chat and the random likes on Facebook. In fact, he was one of the few I spoke to after the Westgate attack.
We hung out for half an hour on Wednesday and 10 minutes today. His brother-in-law’s getting engaged tomorrow and I’m invited. But then we had the weirdest realisation.
We’re getting old.
So it’s an Indian engagement, which means you go all out with your attire. But the thing is, after an event like that, and being in our 20s, you want to go out and most likely to Gipsy’s.
What made us sit in silence for a minute was the following statement “but man, wearing an Indian outfit then walking into Gipsy’s. There’s no way I’m going home, changing then coming back. That’s too much of a hassle”
There was a time we would have done that.
Last evening, a friend from Canada wrote after ages. Asking me tell her what’s new with me etc. A lot’s happened in the past few months, which makes no sense of speaking now, so I kept it brief. She “Anyway’d” me and went on to tell me about her life. Not that I don’t care, I’m super happy for her but it didn’t feel genuine? If that makes any sense?
She went on and said, “something’s definitely different, you’ve changed”. I haven’t spoken to her in forever, Westgate happened. Of course I’ve changed. I told her that “Westgate taught me how not to give a shit :)” and she’s like so you stop talking to people because of that?
I cannot get myself to speak to people who only speak about themselves all the time. And I try my best not to allow myself to do the same to my friends (that’s why I blog it all out I guess). I know how irritating it can be and to add to it all it brings no value to your life.
Things change. Things happen to create the change. People move on. Friendships evolve or dissolve.
I don’t know how much more I can emphasise on the fact that nothing is permanent in this world and everything’s temporary.
Stop holding on to people who don’t want to stick around. Stop going out of your way for people who wouldn’t even take a step for you. Stop wasting your time. Stop caring so much that all you ever get is hurt.
I made a friend last April and we’ve been in touch on and off. We bumped into each other today and he and another friend asked me to join them. My intention was to stay at home tonight and I told them that. They said get home, do your thing then come over. A couple of months ago, I would have gone over. I chose to stay at home and honour myself and my original plans (besides I’ve had 3 heavy nights in 17 days already, I need to chiil 😉 )
Making choices based on what’s right and wrong is a good way to live by. But making choices on what’s valuable and what’s not is the best decision you could make.