Day 13 – #NaBloPoMo

They say your friend cycle changes every seven years or that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

But obviously circumstances and situations play a huge role.

Perhaps you went to school together; You grew up in the same hood; You were in the same sports club; You were a friend of a friend and became best friends; You met on vacation; You moved countries.

And so social networks launched. We had hi5, MySpace etc and then in 2006, when Facebook became the new thing in Kenya and around the world, I found people from Primary/High school adding me. People I haven’t heard from or seen in YEARS! It was the most amazing way to connect and catch up and chat and all.

We started creating reunions and meeting up with old friends again. MSN was big then, so we’d have group chats and video chats and all.

But that’s all virtual. What about your FRIENDS friends?

There’s a category of friends:

– Those you talk to every single day.

– Those you club with.

– Those you need when you need something.

– The weekend friends.

– The work mates.

– The girlfriends.

– The sport fanatic friends.

– The boyfriend/girlfriend.

The list can get longer.

But here’s the funny part. It’s so weird and tricky to MIX these friends.

Chances are some will hit it off, others will judge you for having such a friend.

And then there are those who actually stop hanging out with you and start hanging out with the friend you introduced them to.

Sometimes you don’t even know how to deal with losing a friend to another. But just let it be and let life go on.

Or the most common one, when someone gets into a relationship and has no time for anyone else. For some odd reason, that’s always the case and people understand that and just let it be.

Recently, I’ve had to go through a shuffle. For whatever reason. It’s important to know your barriers, your ground, your boundaries. Who’s allowed to cross them, who’s allowed within them or who’s not allowed anywhere near.

Sometimes, you don’t have a reason. But something as simple as “you don’t add any value to my life“.

I mean. if you’re consistently gonna bitch about someone, or always whine about what a miserable life you have, h o w. i s. t h a t. b e n e f i t i n g. m e? Do you see how that adds no value to my life?

By creating your boundaries and having a selected few as friends, you’re not losing out on anything. It doesn’t matter who your friends are or what they do or how they dress or how much they earn or where they work or what social status they have.

Your life is meant to be about quality. Not quantity and that means in every area of your life.

You could have lived till 70 but what did you do so valuable in the 70 years of your life?

Or you could have been 40 but done so much more than a 70 year old would have when he was 30.

People will walk in and out of your life. It’s your choice, whether you want them to stay or not and you don’t have a say in when they decide to walk away. We can always ask why or request them to stay, but forcing it on and imposing it or emotionally blackmailing them into it will only push them further away.


I’m taking part in the National Blog Posting Month! I’ve committed to posting something everyday till the 30th of November! Hope you enjoy the absolute random reads and would love feedback too! Feel free to drop a comment at the bottom.


2 thoughts on “Day 13 – #NaBloPoMo

  1. I read a story where the cancer patient died and all his ‘friends’ posted on his facebook wall, which made his best friend (1 of 2 who were actually there until the very end) question, who were those people? in all the months she’s been with him until the end, he never spoke about them, they never showed up…and suddenly now that he’s dead, they spring out of nowhere. It’s true that the quality is more important than quantity, and it’s funny because as you grow older you expect to have ‘more friends’ since you’ve had more chance to meet people in life, but you might end up with less friends. Coincidence, I was actually working on that in a post (the general concept of friendship and virtual relationships and all….)sorry for the long comment

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